I would like to narrate how I got married, since I’ve been getting lot of questions regarding this matter, and I hope it would clear the misconceptions that many have regarding marriages that take place in Shaam.
After two months in Shaam, I finally think about getting married because life without a Mahram is quite hard and it can cause fitnah. When I told this matter to one of my best friend, she was the happiest person because I was never interested before.
She spoke this matter to her husband. The husband told her that one of his friend is looking for a wife, and described about him to my friend. So, my friend told me about his personality and her husband told him (my husband) about mine. Initially I had a little doubt, till my friend said something that really made my heart ease and peace.
"Shams, you always tell me about your father and how much you love him. Don’t you think, this man sounds exactly like your father?"
That night, I was unable to sleep. I looked at my father’s picture and asking myself am I really ready for this. I made salatul Istikharah and put my full trust in Allāh.
For the next few days, I feel very much ease about this matter. So I spoke to my father, and he said he’s happy as long I’m.
One night, my best friend knocked my door and before I could answer her, she opened the door and jumped on me. She told me that her husband has spoken to his friend, and his friend is interested in marrying me even without looking at me. I was astonished, and I told her that, I too agreed for the marriage. She hugged me and cried and kept saying how much she’s happy with my decision. Wallahi, I felt she acted like my mother and it was an emotional night.
The next morning I was very much shocked because my friend told me that her husband and his friend will come to our house to see me. This is a sunnah practice, called ‘Nadra-Shar’eeah’ which means, to see the bride’s face before the marriage. When she told me about this matter, I was nearly fainted. I couldn’t believe it could be this soon, and I wasn’t ready at all. She comforted me and told me everything will be alright.
That afternoon, after Dhuhr prayer he came to my house. It was the most ‘scariest’ moment in my life. I begged my friend to accompany me and she did. At the backyard, I saw a man is sitting facing the opposite direction. My friend pushed me and ask me to sit on another sofa that isn’t far from him.
I made my little steps. Sat. I was trembling. Nervous. Scared. My emotions were mixed. When he noticed my arrival, he gave salam and introduced him self, so did I. Then, it was a long awkward silence. After few minutes, I flipped my Niqab. He looked at me, our eyes catches each others’. I had palpitation that is faster than the speed of light.
He smiled. And he asked a question that I shall never forget for the rest of my life.
"Can we get married today? After Asr?"
Deep inside my heart shouted, noooo. But I have no idea why I answered “Yes”.
Later I asked his permission to enter the house, our meeting ended with Salam.
On the same day, after Asr prayer, my friend, her husband, an english speaking brother and I went to the nearest internet cafe and made call to my father. Again, I spoke about this issue to him and I can hear my mother was shouting in joy at the back. Later, I passed the phone to the english-speaking brother for him to take the consent from my father, as my father is my Wali.
We went back home and everything was ready. Qadhi, two witnesses and my husband. The nikah was held at my house. The men were in the room, while the women were outside the room, but we could hear what’s going on inside. It was the simplest nikah I ever witnessed in my life. No glamorous dress, no crowds, no-nothing.
Again I was panic when the Qadhi asked me what I want as my mahr. I told my friend that I want sura al Waqiah, and she told to her husband. The husband told the qadhi. Here is the funny part. My husband is about to recite but he began to sweat profusely. He took a deep breath, again, but he couldn’t. So he said he will recite it later and handed me $200 dollar.
Why I choose Sura al Waqiah? It was the last Sura I’ve memorized before I made my Hijrah.
Anyways. The next morning, my husband and I prayed Salatul Fajr together. And he recited my mahr in that prayer. I swear, I cried.
After we finished the salah, he turned back and smiled at me. And I can feel something. Yes, I guess I just fell in love with someone - my husband!
Allāh has answered my prayer. Al Hamdulillah :)
Bird Of Jannah - Syria